she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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