I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
They took my balls.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
