I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think people are normalizing furries
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
