Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This is my gift to your gina
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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