No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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