She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
