her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
