they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
