I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
