Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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