Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
