so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
