Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
