The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
