my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
