I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
