im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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