Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
