Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you win again, gameday.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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