He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My penis needs a shock collar
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
