Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
