Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
