no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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