You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize