her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
