I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
