im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Shame - the story of my life.
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