just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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