Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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