i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
