so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize