Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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