She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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