hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
