I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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