I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
