My pussy is not your playground.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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