FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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