they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
