On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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