i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
