Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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