that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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