How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
