Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
