He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
