Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
