just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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