the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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