thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
