when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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