a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
