i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It's just like the Real World with babies
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
