You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
