I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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