Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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