Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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