Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
