my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
