i think my tv is drunk
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
