hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize