so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
