Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
