OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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