I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
