just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
