Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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