Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
