I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
