i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize